It’s the Emptiness and Loneliness that hurts the most

Loneliness continues to be my biggest struggle in Spain. I want to see God here. And I know he’s here. My question continues to be “But where?” I want to know when the night will end and the day will dawn. But I also know that night is always darkest just before the dawn. So either things will get darker or they’re about to get better….

And as the greatest musical of all time continually reminds us “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will dawn. We will live again in freedom in garden of the Lord. We will walk behind the plowshare; we will put away the sword. The chains will be broken and all men will have their reward.”

Yeah, I’d like that.

I’m sick of the internet here at school but it’s all I have. It sucks; it randomly times itself out and just shuts down on me. It's obnoxious and it drives me nuts. But at least I have internet.

And there are things here that I love. I have four professors here and I'm taking five classes. So I'm going to take you through my school week.

Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday at 9am I have Basque Cultura and Language with Itziar Munoz. She's not even 30 and SOOOOO cute and sweet. She has a huge class and she does a pretty good job of handling us.

Monday and Wednesday at 4:10pm I have Advanced Spanish Grammar with Jon Ortiz de Urbana. It's really a linguistics class and it's boring as can be. Alyssa, Crissy, and I are counting down the days until we're free of Jon and the class. He's a nice guy but it's just soooooo boring.

Monday and Wednesday at 5:30pm I have Intro to Hispanic Literature until 1900 with Francisco Sogeuro. Francisco is hysterical in any language and a great professor. His idea of democracy is "Quieres leer? Yes or Yes?" It's great and he really is a good teacher and he's fun.

Tuesdays and Thursdays at 1:10pm and Wednesdays at 9 am I have modern Spanish culture and civilization with Ana Ruiz-Baton Ruiz. She's ridiculous. This morning, she called herself a witch. She also told us that if we wanted to overthrow her as captain of the boat, just let her know and she'd leave. She's a character and I love her. She's also a really good teacher who does a great job of making stuff that's pretty boring really interesting.

And then Tuesdays and Thursdays I go back to Francisco for Panorama of Spanish Literature. It's great. Most of the kids are in both classes so we're all getting to know each other and Francisco pretty well. I'm really enjoying this.

But spiritually, I'm still struggling. I want to know when the night will end. But as John Hughes's voice is currently reminding me, the battle is now; we're here to fight.